Why does the Daily Mail hating something, make me want to see it so much?

But Donkey Punch is no ordinary softporn slasher flick. Blackburn claims the characters in his tale are ’socially realistic’ – typical of many young men and women of his generation. ‘Everything in the film is rooted in reality,’ says the 36-year-old director. ‘We just took the stuff that’s out there and made it into a story.’

In which case, I despair for the future of Britain.

The key thing to know about Donkey Punch is that the film takes its name from a potentially lethal and possibly mythical sado-masochistic act involving anal sex.

I apologise for being so explicit, but unless you understand the central premise of the film you cannot comprehend what a vile production it is.

Dunno what one is? Here’s our filthy-lipped wiki-friends from Urban Dictionary with a quick reminder…

Donkey Punch

Verb. Noun.
Whilst participating in either vaginal or anal ‘doggy style’ intercourse, during the instant before the male ejaculates, the penis is inserted (or kept) in the female’s anus, at which point he delivers a swift punch to the back of the female’s cranium. This results in the simultaneous contraction of the anal sphincter and various other muscles in the female, thus producing a tremendous sensation for the male. However, for the technique to render successful, the receiving party must be knocked utterly unconscious.
“I was banging this one night and I donkey punched the bitch so hard she passed out!”
“What happened after that?”
“I fell asleep. What else?”
“Hear hear! Bravo!”

It’s in cinema’s from today. Watch the trailer here, it actually looks awful, for reasons not involving an irrational fear of hoodies and boys wearing mascara: