House M.D. season 5 teaser

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Published in: on July 21, 2008 at 1:11 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Why does the Daily Mail hating something, make me want to see it so much?

But Donkey Punch is no ordinary softporn slasher flick. Blackburn claims the characters in his tale are ‘socially realistic’ – typical of many young men and women of his generation. ‘Everything in the film is rooted in reality,’ says the 36-year-old director. ‘We just took the stuff that’s out there and made it into a story.’

In which case, I despair for the future of Britain.

The key thing to know about Donkey Punch is that the film takes its name from a potentially lethal and possibly mythical sado-masochistic act involving anal sex.

I apologise for being so explicit, but unless you understand the central premise of the film you cannot comprehend what a vile production it is.

Dunno what one is? Here’s our filthy-lipped wiki-friends from Urban Dictionary with a quick reminder…

Donkey Punch

Verb. Noun.
Whilst participating in either vaginal or anal ‘doggy style’ intercourse, during the instant before the male ejaculates, the penis is inserted (or kept) in the female’s anus, at which point he delivers a swift punch to the back of the female’s cranium. This results in the simultaneous contraction of the anal sphincter and various other muscles in the female, thus producing a tremendous sensation for the male. However, for the technique to render successful, the receiving party must be knocked utterly unconscious.
“I was banging this one night and I donkey punched the bitch so hard she passed out!”
“What happened after that?”
“I fell asleep. What else?”
“Hear hear! Bravo!”

It’s in cinema’s from today. Watch the trailer here, it actually looks awful, for reasons not involving an irrational fear of hoodies and boys wearing mascara:

Published in: on July 18, 2008 at 2:13 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The Pirate’s Dilemma in video form

The executive producer of Heroes and some of the guys from Current TV have booked up with piratical evangelist Matt Mills, to turn his book into a tv show. The book’s ok but if you watch the above you’ve pretty much garnered everything it has to say. However, if you wanna get the book for free, you can download it from thePiratesDilemma.com.

Published in: on July 5, 2008 at 4:05 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Like High School Musical meets Spinal Tap

You’ve been warned!

Published in: on June 3, 2008 at 4:16 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Choke by Chuck Palahniuk – The Movie (Trailer)

Chuck Palahniuk

There ain’t many modern authors who can claim to have had as much resonance as Chuck Palahniuk did with his take on a Generation X, raised by single mothers, lacking a belief system/cult-formation that was the beating yourself up classic Fight Club. The big news is that, possibly Palahniuk’s best novel, Choke has finally been turned into a movie and is due out this Autumn.

According to IMDB the movie was directed by Clark Gregg and stars Sam Rockwell, Anjelica Huston, Kelly MacDonald (the school gal from Trainspotting) and also features former Calvin Klein model, hottie from Bully, Bijou Phillips.

The movie was aired at Sundance at the start of the year to rave reviews and this Clap Your Hands Say Yeah ‘Satan Says Dance’ accompanied trailer has been served up as a long lead teaser…

Pull quotes from the book

“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”

“The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it’s only intangibles, ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die.”

“You tell me, what does it get you if you can square root a triangle and then some terrorist shoots you in the head?”

“When people dance to fire alarms and gun shots, something is wrong.”

“In America, if your addiction isn’t always new and improved, you’re a failure.”